


New Beginning

by Phinmeister



Series: Adam and Rick [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M, POV First Person, Sappy cute, with some gayness too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 21:57:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15277014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phinmeister/pseuds/Phinmeister
Summary: My trusty OCs Adam and Rick and a new adventure they've decided to undertake.





	New Beginning

"I've told you a million times I trust you. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I believe in you, and I believe in us, even if that sounds corny."

He's in such a mess, his shoulders tensed up, his eyes not looking at me, and I wonder how this is going to play out if he won’t calm down. "I just don't want this to ruin us."

"It's not going to ruin us. If anything, it'll strengthen us. We're going to become so much bigger and better because of this."

If it works, is the unsaid addition, always lurking in the shadows, in the corner of our eyes. If it's successful. If Lady Luck is on our side, just this once.

And if not, the worst that can happen - well, that's not the worst that can happen. The best thing that can happen, really, is that we'll have to do it all over again. Could be very much worse. I've always had to tell myself that about any scenario, and it really does make things easier most of the time.

He's quiet now, which is preferable to him blubbering more about what if and what if and what if, and about her and him, but mostly her, and about them, and about what comes before, during, and after. (Especially about what comes during.)

But I'm patient, or at least I like to think I am.

"I trust you," I say again, because it's worth iterating. "This is a next step, right? That's all it is, and we just need to let it play through. You can do it."

"But what if -"

"No, you can do it. It's not rocket science. You're not the first person ever to do this."

He rolls his eyes at me. "I know that."

"So what's your biggest worry?"

He furrows his eyebrows. "I have to pick one?"

"Well, you can do a top three."

"Alright." He'd probably prepared this beforehand. "One. I'm gay."

I widen my eyes in pretend shock. "No _way._ Why didn't you tell me before?"

He cracks a smile for once, which is good to see. "Shut up. You know what I mean."

"What if you accidentally confuse her with me? I think you're smarter than that."

"Well -"

"Nope, that's out. Next worry."

He stands his ground. "No, I'm just saying, what if I can't get… you know."

I do know. "Then think about how devilishly sexy I am."

We both laugh, and it feels good to liven up this heavy subject. He was close to crying for a moment there, but not anymore, I don't think.

"Maybe I will."

"Just relax. If you keep thinking about it, it's not going to happen. Live in the moment."

He looks unconvinced, and sighs. "All right, next… no, I keep saying it."

He has said it a million times before, and so have I in response, but I'll say it again. "I trust you, babe. This isn't the start of a downwards crumble of our marriage. I keep telling you, it's the… inconvenient start to a big new beginning. Really big. And you can come back later and I'll be just as trusting as I am now."

"You think so?"

I'm pretty sure at this point he's mostly convinced, but just needs some repetition to really hammer it into his brain. I'm the same way when I wake up in a cold sweat after I dream about us splitting up for the umpteenth time, and I have to turn to him and let him tell me how much our marriage isn't a failure. Just the same.

"Yeah, I do. We've gotten this far, haven't we? You're with me for life."

He shakes his head. "Oh, no." But he's smiling, I can see. Good.

"I love you." Another mantra worth repeating.

"I love you too." He looks a little less tense now. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." We've had this conversation before, almost verbatim. "I'm just glad you value us this much. It really shows."

"Is.…that a bad thing?"

"No!" Time to change the subject before his mind spirals down into another sea of self-doubt. "What's the third thing?"

He looks a bit dazed. "What?"

Patient. "The third thing that you were worried about."

"Oh." His eyes clear up, but they look downtrodden. "I mean… what if I - we - have to do it again?"

There it is. I know the layers of what he's talking about. What if it doesn’t work this time, or what if it doesn't work another time, or heaven goddamn forbid what if it works, and then it doesn't…

"We planned it out as best we could, remember? All the charts and cycles and whatever?" I'm not the foremost expert on women; that's why he's doing this instead.

"Yeah, but still, we won't know for sure, will we?"

"Then if it doesn't work this time we'll try again later. It's okay."

"Not the end of the world?"

"You got it."

"Well." He blinks. "I'm worrying too much, aren't I?"

"Yes, yes." I reach forward and embrace him, and I can really feel his tension. That softens after a moment, though, and he rests his cheek against my shoulder, as if he's trying to melt into me and leave his worries behind.

"Remember," I say softly, "you've done scarier things than this."

He hums. "Yeah."

"So you'll be okay?"

"Think so."

"Good."

 

-

It's later, in the dead of night, and the wind is blowing outside and I know it's cold out, the middle of January. He's out there, somewhere, and he's coming back.

He comes back. I immediately can tell he's frazzled, but only on the surface. Calmer beneath. Focused.

I don't sit up and greet him, because I'm so tired and it's so late. He gets into bed next to me.

"How was it?" I murmur. I'm hesitant, not sure what response I'll get, good or bad or maybe somewhere in between or a combination of both.

He's quiet. "I love you," he says, "so much I could die."

I agree, but I don't know what that means. Is it good or bad? Why is he vague?

He shifts himself closer to me, pressing against my back, and I feel his warm breath on the back of my neck and I'm still confused.

"I love you too," I say, but nothing more.

His hand reaches around, strokes my chest and stomach, downwards, oh _wow_ that was unexpected.

"What are you doing, babe?" My voice is slightly slurred.

He still doesn't answer, just keeps stroking, and I won't deny it feels good, but _come on_ I want answers.

Finally, he says, "It went better than expected."

Suddenly I feel more awake. "Really? That's great, Adam."

"I think I did alright."

I smile. "I'm proud of you, you know. I hope you know that."

"I do know." He starts finagling his hand around and I can't help but let out a gasp. "I'm really grateful for you."

"I know."

"And I love you."

"I know that, too."

"Yeah, I know you know." He kisses the back of my neck. "God, it's different."

"How so?"

"Well, besides body parts and all that. It's not as satisfying."

"Yeah, I can really tell." There's an item on my imaginary bucket list of things I'll never do crossed off.

-

Of all the responses I'd imagined I'd receive once he came home, this definitely hadn't been one of them. Outside I'm sure it's freezing, but inside it's probably hotter than a sauna in Death Valley. Fortunately, we aren't wearing any garments to make ourselves a ny warmer. Unfortunately, I have someone wrapped around me who is notorious for producing more heat than I'm sure is normal for the average human body, and that someone is kissing my neck and making me blush.

"Was that better?"

He leans over and kisses my lips. "You have noooo idea."

I sigh, not in an ill-spirited way, but more content than I was before. "So. You've got one more on the tally than me now."

"Huh?"

"'Cause we used to be equal. But now you're up one."

"Don't talk about that."

Okay.

"You sure you did alright? You see to have, ah, a lot more energy."

"It's all for you."

"I know that, but - whatever. I'm glad you're here and happy and healthy."

"Me too."

 

-

I sometimes think I'm the nervous one in our duo, but today it's both of us, and him more than me. He's pacing around all over the place, glancing quickly at the phone every five seconds, and I'm just slouching on the couch waiting for it all to be over and done with.

"She did say she'd call around three, right? PM, not AM? Not four or five?"

I just sigh, as I'm used to doing at this point. "Why would she call at three in the morning?"

"You never know."

"I _do_ know, because she texted us, remember? Like twenty minutes ago? And she said she was on her way and she'll get back to us as soon as she can?"

He ignored that. "How long do you think it'll take?"

"How should I know?"

"Oh, you're helpful." He's back to pacing. "My brain is going to explode."

"I wouldn't like that. I'll have to get out the carpet cleaner."

"Did she mean she was leaving at that time, twenty minutes ago, or she had just gotten there?"

"I really have no clue."

"Maybe we should have gone with her."

"She'd probably really hate that."

"Why?"

"Well, look at you, you're all over the place. I'm tired just being around you." I patted the seat next to me. "Come on, chill. It'll be okay."

"You say that, and yet I can't make myself believe you." He sat down next to me, but it was almost worse, because he was fidgety. "Riiiick."

"Whaaaat?"

"I'm so anxious." "

Wow, no kidding? Shhh." I shifted so I was looking directly at him. "Shhhhh."

He got up again. "Sorry, didn't work."

I groaned.

This continued on for what felt like entire geologic eons, until the phone rang. His eyes quickly widened.

"Get it!" My voice felt distant. He hesitated a moment, and then bolted to the phone and picked it up.

"Hello? Oh, hi, yeah! Tell us how it's going."

He sounded much calmer on the phone, but in the real world I could see him fidgeting again, rubbing the palm of his hand against his leg and then scratching the back of his neck and then going back and doing it again. I didn't blame him - a few seconds and we'd know.

And then the hugest grin broke out on his face. "Aw, no way, that's _awesome!_ "

"What?" I said, almost a yell. He didn't respond to me.

"Yeah, we'll definitely come by and check it out, we'd both love to see it."

My body was tensed up now. Each second felt like an eternity of waiting for him to get off the phone. Tick tick tick.

"Okay, yeah, I'll tell him right away. See you soon, bye."

I let out a huge breath and stood up to walk to him. Still with a grin on his face, he ran over to me and gave me a crushing hug.

"Rick," he said, "we're going to have a daughter."

I felt a chill go down my spine. "Wha - what?"

"A baby girl!" He squeezed me tighter, if that was possible. "Can you believe it?"

"No, not at all."

A girl... a baby girl, daughter, my daughter, our daughter, oh my God I was going to be a dad.

He gave me a quick kiss on my cheek. "I know, I can't believe it either. Both of us. And her!"

 _Her._ A little girl. My little girl?

Still hugging me, he swayed me back and forth just slightly and hummed. I had to smile, so I did.

"Do you think we'll be good parents?" I asked.

"I hope so."

"Me included?" He was going to be wonderful, I knew. Me, well, maybe.

"Yes, yes, of course." Another squeeze. "Rick, God, I'm so happy. Can you believe this?"

"You already said that."

"I know, but can you?"

"A girl?"

"Uh huh."

"Did you want a girl?" I'd been fine with either.

He was quiet for a moment. "You know... yeah. I think so."

"That's good." Smile. "That's really good."


End file.
